Steve Ballmer Goes Ballistic at Clippers Introduction Rally

Aug 19 11:50am

With Steve Ballmer now running things, the Clippers officially have the most interesting owner in the NBA. Ballmer was able to buy the team after a judge ruled against Donald Sterling, who was trying to block the mandated sale, after making inflammatory and insensitive comments. Right now, if I’m a Clippers fan, I am psyched with Ballmer’s passion, and laughing, because he is out of his mind. This guy makes Mark Cuban look boring.

Here is Ballmer’s introduction rally, and the full speech he gave to the (terrified) players, coaches, and Clippers fans.

WE LOVE….LARRY! Even if you don’t know who Larry is, you’d better say that you love him, or Ballmer will head-butt you until you lose consciousness.

The crazy part is that I’ve seen Ballmer’s Microsoft speeches, and that was him at about 50% energy. This is a guy that is usually sweating, running back and forth, and once blew out his vocal cords during a “talk” in Japan. Was anyone else waiting for him to take his shirt off and turn it into a rally towel, and then follow that up by kicking over the podium and punching himself in the face? Maybe that was just me, but the entire speech he gave had a tension to it that wouldn’t have made those events completely surprising.

Also, it was hilarious to watch the Clippers players and Doc Rivers during Ballmer’s speech. The players looked like kids getting scolded by a principle that has his fly open. They didn’t want to laugh, but how could you not? And Doc Rivers, he just looked flat out concerned. For us as spectators it’s all fun and games, but I’m sure Rivers was having visions of being forced to arm wrestle Ballmer, with the winner getting to pick that night’s starting lineup.

And finally, the guy gave out his email address. Usually, I would say that this was a ploy to show how he’s a down to earth guy, and that he’ll never actually read any messages sent his way, but I’m not so sure. I think if you sent crazy Steve something like a passionate (maniacal) rant about how DeAndre Jordan deserves his own bobblehead night, he may consider it.

He is going to make the Clippers must-see TV, and I can’t wait to see him out-crazy Mark Cuban this season. After seeing this intro, imagine how he’ll be if LA wins it all? The thought of it is currently too exciting to put into words.

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