Falcons to Sell Alcohol-Infused Cupcakes This Season

Aug 15 4:46pm

The Atlanta Falcons are teaming up with Delights by Dawn to sell alcohol-infused cupcakes this season, and I think that means the world is coming to an end. I’m having trouble fully processing just how funny this is going to be. It’s a good idea, because many people like alcohol and cupcakes, but it’s the last thing I ever thought I’d see at a football game.

Here is a picture of the stand that will be dishing out the sugary booze this season.


What a difference this is going to make. Guys and gals going on cupcake runs during games, and getting ID’ed for them. Maybe they’ll even make a cupcake koozy so that people still feel like they’re having a normal drink. Also, what if there is a controversial game, and fans that ingested too many liquor cakes start throwing cupcake rappers onto the field? It would be bedlam!

I hope that network cameras take notice of this new treat and showcase it during nationally televised games. I can’t wait for the first time I get to see a tough guy in his Falcons jersey, with a huge beard, scowling while eating a fluffy booze pastry. I will now be DVRing every falcons game (which I wouldn’t normally do, because they’re pretty boring), praying for that moment. And when it happens, I will screenshot it, frame it, and hang it in my living room.

Oh, Delights of Dawn. I don’t know how you pulled this off, but I’m so glad you did.

And remember everyone, eat dessert responsibly.

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