50 Funny Fantasy Basketball Team Names for 2013-2014 31

Recently retired commissioner David Stern may be melting into his couch of obscurity, but we’re still putting in the man hours to bring you the tastiest fantasy hardwood team names ever scripted.

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Here’s our favorite batch of fantasy basketball team names… but first, sign up and try out our thrilling one-day fantasy basketball contests using promocode INSIDERBONUS for a free $5 to play with when you sign up – no strings attached!

50. Rubio Tuesdays – Ricky’s always dishing them out.

49. Duncan Your Face – Timmy D has been doing it for 16 years.

48. From Russia With K Love – The newest 007.

47. Gym Tan Landry – That’s so 2010.

46. Who Framed Luke Babbit – …and sent him to the Russian league?

45. Brandon Bass Hunter – Slightly necessary.

44. Bismack Markie – The clown prince of basketball

43. Dancing To Thabeet – Not sure we’ll see this Hasheem dancing to any beat.

42. Assault and Battier – Physical defense misunderstood.

41. A Stuckey Situation – Whether or not to sign Rodney Stuckey?

40. Wall-E – Do robot’s get injured?

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39. The Chronicles of Reddick – Rough times for the now-journeyman baller.

38. A Teague of Their Own – Unexpectedly solid.

37. Hibbert and Ernie – Annoyingly dominant.

36. From Kosta Coast – Koufos did finish with 6.9 rebounds last year. So, yeah.

35. Wake and Blake – Eggs on the side.

34. Live Faried or Die Hard – Most die hard against mister Kenneth in the paint.

33. Bigger Fish to Frye – Like 3-point jumpers.

32. Neat Fariq – Aminu he would end up on this list.

31. Nash of the Titans – But a lot safer.

30. Mumford & Parsons – I won’t wait for a better one.

29. Silence of The Lambs – Doron and Jeremy are silent hunters.

28. Horton Hears a Jrue – A person’s a person, no matter how sma…6’4″.

27. The Big Deng Theory – Derrick Rose would be Penny in this scenario.

26. Colder Than a Dalembert’s Toenails – Outkast continuing to affect society.

25. I Camby What I Wanna Be – A Houston Rocket.

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24. Cookies and Kareem – Not again with the Lakers!

23. All You Can Shoot Curry – Just as simultaneously exciting and upsetting.

22. Home Malone – And doing just fine.

21. Keys to the Kyrie – A well-oiled machine.

20. Let’s Make a Beal – Wheeling and Bealing, via Walt Clyde Frazier.

19. Shaqramento Kings – Infusing the Kings with his Shaqness.

18. Yao Do You Do? – Terrible now.

17. The Price is Dwight – Not so much anymore.

16. Pondexter’s Laboratory – Childhood favorites that are terrible but endearing.

15. Blatche Ops 5 – Not to be confused with Blatche Ops 4.

14. It Takes DeJuan to Know One – Or Blair Witch Project.

13. Grand Theft Otto – The Wizards rookie gets his first taste of the NBA spotlight.

12. I’ve Got the Dragic in Me – Pitch Perfect has killed this song. Or maybe it was B.O.B.

11. Batum Shakalaka – And the crowd goes wild.

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10. Dirk Knight Rises – Permanently relevant.

9. Dwight Where You Stand – As Gangstarr may have put it, leave you there Dwight where you stand.

8. Bosh.0 – The Velociraptor personified.

7. Guy Walks Into a Jabar – Hall of Faming it as usual.

6. Hide ya Kidd, Hide ya Dwight – Anyone else?

5. Walker, Texas Granger – Productive, though forgotten.

4. Double LeBrontendre – Misunderstood as both the greatest and most annoying.

3. When Harry Mehmet Sally – An oldie but a goodie.

2. A Festus For The Rest of Us – At 23, Festus Ezeli may not even understand the Seinfeld reference.

1. Ibaka Flacka Flame – Round of applause.

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31 thoughts on “50 Funny Fantasy Basketball Team Names for 2013-2014

  1. Reply Will Hennes Oct 8, 2013 9:19 pm

    Great fantasy basketball name that i created, “Hey Kidd hide your Bonner” hope you like it

  2. Reply Ben Lucca Oct 19, 2013 10:54 am

    I have a few myself:

    Peppermint LeBron Bron
    Rubio Slippers
    The Larry Sanders SHow
    A Letter From Chris Paul to the Thelonians

  3. Reply Caleb M Oct 22, 2013 3:27 pm

    Batum goes the dynamite

  4. Reply Caleb M Oct 22, 2013 3:28 pm

    James Hard-on

  5. Reply liam blutman Oct 23, 2013 9:48 pm

    Blue Eggs And Lamb

  6. Reply Yags Oct 23, 2013 10:17 pm

    Sexy Blatches Make My Redick Harden

  7. Reply Yo Momma Oct 24, 2013 7:29 pm

    Home Ola-Dipo

  8. Reply chakazulu Oct 26, 2013 9:32 pm

    Are you Faried of the Dark?
    Lawson’s Creek

  9. Reply The Boss Oct 28, 2013 12:46 am

    Girl Bledsoe Much

  10. Reply Will Oct 28, 2013 6:46 am

    Canaan Able

  11. Reply Tay Oct 28, 2013 6:21 pm

    My D Just Rose

  12. Reply Charlie A Oct 30, 2013 9:16 pm

    Harden the morning (Hard in the morning)

  13. Reply Ryan M Nov 2, 2013 1:48 am

    My buddy game up with my 2 fave:

    Maggette and Meatballs

    and…..

    RON ARTESTICLES

  14. Reply Spencer Nov 4, 2013 3:17 pm

    Kevin Love and Other Drugs

  15. Reply Jimmy Nov 6, 2013 1:57 am

    Roses smell like Jrue-ue-ue
    Better Call Gasol
    Lifes a Vich

  16. Reply Noah Nov 19, 2013 1:46 pm

    Hold The O.j. Mayo

  17. Reply Larry Nov 30, 2013 7:07 pm

    “GayButLove”
    My team has Rudy Gay, Jimmy Butler and Kevin Love.

  18. Reply Ben Dec 6, 2013 3:57 pm

    Keeping Up with Humphries

  19. Reply Louis Dec 22, 2013 5:46 am

    This year I changed my team name every week on players I have/had and on players on my opponent’s team(in H2H matchups). Like:
    Live Free or Die Harden
    Beverley Hill 90210
    Beverley Hill Bellinellis
    2 Youngs Don’t Make a Dwight
    Monrotisserie League
    You Thad Bro?
    Fryed Green Tomatoes
    and my fav: Talib Kawhi & Mos Steph

  20. Reply B Jan 3, 2014 4:20 pm

    My Poop Is Kwame Brown.

  21. Reply Awesome Jan 7, 2014 2:58 am

    The Most Grangerous Game

  22. Reply Anthony Jan 8, 2014 10:57 pm

    Leflop James

  23. Reply Kyle Wood Jan 27, 2014 11:48 pm

    Sexual Favors

  24. Reply Mysterious Feb 1, 2014 11:38 am

    I like my Shaq team names:
    Radio Shaq
    Shaqramento Kings

    and others…
    Harden Gay (if you have both on your team)
    All You Need is Love
    A Teague of their own
    Dengnam Style

  25. Reply Awesome Boy Feb 22, 2014 12:53 pm

    I feel a SERGE comin on!!!!

  26. Reply Awesome Boy Feb 22, 2014 12:56 pm

    DENG!!!! Kobe is a bryat (brat)

  27. Reply Bball master Feb 22, 2014 12:58 pm

    Ouch!!!!!! That Kaman bit me!!!!!!!

  28. Reply Great guy Feb 22, 2014 1:00 pm

    I feel a SERGE comin on!!!!!!

  29. Reply Bball Boy Feb 22, 2014 1:02 pm

    Ouch that Kaman bit me, i feel a serge coming on, deng, Kobe is a bryat (brat)….. Best team name yet, just foye you!!!!

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